"You just gotta sit with it. That's how it's going to feel."
A coach's advice to an athlete who is so nervous she's ready to puke, pass out, and cry
In the distance-running world, Allie Ostrander was the definition of a phenom.
She won ten state titles in Alaska, and then arrived at Boise State University, where she was immediately one of the best runners in the country. As a freshman in 2016, she made the finals of the Olympic Trials in the 5,000 meters — the only collegian in the race. From 2017 to 2019, she won three straight NCAA titles in the 3,000-meter steeplechase, the only woman ever to do so.
Ostrander skipped her final year of collegiate eligibility to turn pro, and signed a sponsorship contract with Brooks. That fall, she represented the U.S. at the World Championships. It all seemed like the makings of a storybook career.
Then in 2021, following a string of injuries, Ostrander announced on Instagram that she was ending her contract with Brooks, leaving her training group, and taking a step back from professional running. What was going on?
While still competing (including at the 2021 Olympic Trials), Ostrander had entered a partial hospitalization program for eating disorder recovery. The following year she did not race, and prioritized recovery.
In 2023, she slowly began to make her way back, at first focusing on trail racing rather than track. By last week, she had made it all the way back to the finals of the Olympic Trials in the steeplechase.
Ostrander was not one of the top three who made the Olympic team, but she finished seventh in the fastest time of her life. And perhaps because of what she’s been through, Ostrander has a tendency to be unusually reflective, and candid, in her interviews. After the Olympic Trials final, she discussed her pre-race state of mind:
“I’m always incredibly nervous for the Olympic Trials. It doesn’t matter how well-rounded of a perspective you might have, it’s a very high-stress event. And so, before the race I literally told my coach, I was like: ‘Is there anything you can say to me right now that’ll make me stop feeling like I’m going to throw up, pass out, and cry?’”
That’s an amazing question, and a tall order moments before the big race. Here’s how she said her coach responded:
“Honestly, you just gotta sit with it. That’s how it’s gonna feel. It’s all fine, it’s valid, and just channel that into your race.”
I love that simple reply. When I ran in college, I was often a pre-race bundle of nerves. Learning to sit with it, as simple as that sounds, was hugely helpful. What that meant to me was, first: not trying to do something about it physically, like warming up more than I should in order to occupy my mind, which would burn needless energy. And second: realizing that the unpleasant feeling would go away as soon as the gun went off, and it needn’t have a negative impact on my performance.
I felt (and sometimes still feel) the same thing before I give a talk. But, at this point, I’d be nervous if I weren’t nervous. Now when I sit with it, I just stay still, and realize that the feeling is valid. It’s telling me that I care, a lot, about what I’m about to do. To me, that’s a privileged place to be.
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Until next time…
David
P.S. While I haven’t been checking social media, I have been responding to comments here, and there were tons of them on the last post. Thanks to everyone who left a comment. As usual, they’ve been fantastic, and I’m still working my way through them.
I love this advice and approach. I feel like as parents and coaches we try to "fix" every bad feeling or find the workaround, when the feeling itself is part of the game you love and have chosen to play. Our job as oldies/elders could also be to point out how many athletes have had great performances with all manner of pre-event feelings. There is no single magic state for peak performance. Well, other than the magic of being prepared, flexible and open to whatever the day serves up.
Yes! Love this