Makes me think: Virginia would have liked The Honey Badger. As in “HB don’t give a S*it.” I’d add the link but it’s an R-rated video (and a lowbrow version of your message David). Good luck with your next book. The others have more than weathered the critics.
This is a beautiful post David. Excited that you are embarking on another book. Be bold!
And... I think that Quite is the most important book I've ever read by the measure of how much a book has shaped my understanding of myself. Range gives me faith that I'm going to make a bunch of the threads of my life come together at some point, but Quite let me accept myself.
I truly needed to hear this today. The concept of free traits is so interesting and intuitive. I too hope to channel some Shreya doesn’t care in a new project I’m working on. Thanks for writing, David!
The chapter I read this morning in “Big Magic” has a “Hippoclides doesn’t care” theme. Elizabeth Gilbert writes, “My deep and lifelong conviction [is] that the results of my work don’t have much to do with me. I can only be in charge of producing the work itself. That’s a hard enough job. I refuse to take on additional jobs, such as trying to police what anybody thinks about my work once it leaves my desk.”
She goes on about how to handle harsh critics. “What if people attack you with savage vitriol, and insult your intelligence, and malign your motives, and drag your good name through the mud? Just smile sweetly and suggest—as politely as you possibly can—that they go make their own f***ing art. Then stubbornly continue making yours.”
Big fan of your work, David, and I hope you continue to make it!
The stories I've written about my experience growing up in a cult were so easy to write, the words flowed out of my tears and pain like a dam had broken. However, publishing them...I knew I would face blowback, and boy, did I. Cut off from family, harassed, called a liar...but I think you've named how I was able to do it, and I've never been able to name it before. It wasn't that I didn't care, it was that getting the story out was bigger than the inevitable fallout. Thank you for this incredibly insightful look at what caring really means!
This piece has me thinking about a podcast I listened to yesterday between Morgan Housel and David Perell (https://youtu.be/o84GXnrHdgg). David should have you on for a future episode.
Anyway, the connecting point was one of the topics that Morgan brought up about “selfish writing.” The idea being that you should be your own most important audience. I can’t help but think that selfish writing is related to the type of “Virginia doesn’t care” ethos here. The point being that it’s only human that we care, but we feel that the core project (and audience) is so important that it outweighs the pain of public criticism. The real lesson is to find something you’re so passionate about sharing that the pain of the inevitable negative feedback is worth it.
My favorite takeaway is how Virginia would write out responses to potential criticism ahead of time. By emotionally working through the cycle of anger/hurt back to calm ahead of time, it sounds like that helped her to respond better to criticism when it did come.
As a scientist, I think of myself as someone with thick skin when it comes to criticism, having gone through the gauntlet of peer review over and over. And my Substack is more practical than personal. However, when I wrote my first novel, there were pieces of my personality in there. It was harder to let go. A single mediocre review can feel like a gut punch. Your post has me thinking of a new mantra, "Victoria doesn't care." BTW, Little was one of my favorite "characters" in Quiet.
I see reading a book as an opportunity to experience a little bit of how other people think about and experience life, the world. Or rather *are thinking about*... , where even the new questions themselves give me something to think about. Those are more important to me than whether I always agree with the person who is so kindly sharing a bit of what’s inside of them.
Thank you, David, for the bits you share here, and an Range, which I read and enjoyed (me, someone who left school thinking she hated sports).
David, I love hearing about your writing process as well as how you approach your obsessions. I'm curious: how much time do you estimate for a book project? And how do you manage writing a book while also writing a newsletter? I've finally decided to tackle a book project (a memoir in essays) but the idea of keeping up my newsletter at the same time feels daunting!
Hey David, thanks for sharing this. I really enjoy hearing tidbits around your book research process and I love this picture you shared! My room is filling up with books I've picked up that I want to read (I've also recently started a short tax course which I'm already behind on!) so this picture reminds me a bit of my own room right now. I love the sentiment of "Virginia doesn't care" it's like a really neat mantra that we can all repeat to ourselves when we're struggling with all kinds of projects/activities. And I think part of why the Christmas tree post was especially popular is the minimalist theme, nowadays it feels like we have a lot of information thrown at us and it's nice to sometimes simplify things with a 'less is more' approach. This makes your writing and researching process even more commendable as I have no idea how you manage to assimilate such a wide range of material and funnell it through with your own ideas to distil into a (relatively) short book. I'm excited to hear that you are starting the process for book 3 and wish you all the best with this! I enjoy all of your writing so take your time to produce what you want. Thanks, William.
This is such a great one thanks, David. I find personal journals or correspondence endlessly fascinating (was a lot of your research about Van Gogh from letters he wrote if I remember correctly?). What's your journaling habit like? Do you ever think what people would think of you if they read it? I read something once that the journalist Tim Urban wrote about interviewing Elon Musk, and he said Musk's superpower (and flaw) was his total inability to care about other people's opinions. I'd argue he's maybe taken this a bit too far, and I prefer the free trait that Woolf picks up instead. Also, that is such an impressive Woolf collection! I know you've said before you don't read every word of every book but (1) with fiction I imagine you have to kind of read it all and (2) that's still almost an entire Woolf shelf. Tipping my cap.
Makes me think of the David Beckham documentary on Netflix, that I was watching last night. If you want a good example of ''David doesn't care'', there is no better exemple of how Beckham dealt with the whole UK after the 98 World Cup. Thanks for another great post and can't wait for your new book!
Delighted to see you mention Brian Little's work. I've found his approach to personality to be extremely useful. The idea that we can learn how to act 'out of character' and get better at it helps us to not just pursue our goals but to stretch ourselves more generally and take the sort of exploratory approach to life that you advocate in Range.
Makes me think: Virginia would have liked The Honey Badger. As in “HB don’t give a S*it.” I’d add the link but it’s an R-rated video (and a lowbrow version of your message David). Good luck with your next book. The others have more than weathered the critics.
This is a beautiful post David. Excited that you are embarking on another book. Be bold!
And... I think that Quite is the most important book I've ever read by the measure of how much a book has shaped my understanding of myself. Range gives me faith that I'm going to make a bunch of the threads of my life come together at some point, but Quite let me accept myself.
I truly needed to hear this today. The concept of free traits is so interesting and intuitive. I too hope to channel some Shreya doesn’t care in a new project I’m working on. Thanks for writing, David!
The chapter I read this morning in “Big Magic” has a “Hippoclides doesn’t care” theme. Elizabeth Gilbert writes, “My deep and lifelong conviction [is] that the results of my work don’t have much to do with me. I can only be in charge of producing the work itself. That’s a hard enough job. I refuse to take on additional jobs, such as trying to police what anybody thinks about my work once it leaves my desk.”
She goes on about how to handle harsh critics. “What if people attack you with savage vitriol, and insult your intelligence, and malign your motives, and drag your good name through the mud? Just smile sweetly and suggest—as politely as you possibly can—that they go make their own f***ing art. Then stubbornly continue making yours.”
Big fan of your work, David, and I hope you continue to make it!
The stories I've written about my experience growing up in a cult were so easy to write, the words flowed out of my tears and pain like a dam had broken. However, publishing them...I knew I would face blowback, and boy, did I. Cut off from family, harassed, called a liar...but I think you've named how I was able to do it, and I've never been able to name it before. It wasn't that I didn't care, it was that getting the story out was bigger than the inevitable fallout. Thank you for this incredibly insightful look at what caring really means!
Another great one David. Love your storytelling.
This piece has me thinking about a podcast I listened to yesterday between Morgan Housel and David Perell (https://youtu.be/o84GXnrHdgg). David should have you on for a future episode.
Anyway, the connecting point was one of the topics that Morgan brought up about “selfish writing.” The idea being that you should be your own most important audience. I can’t help but think that selfish writing is related to the type of “Virginia doesn’t care” ethos here. The point being that it’s only human that we care, but we feel that the core project (and audience) is so important that it outweighs the pain of public criticism. The real lesson is to find something you’re so passionate about sharing that the pain of the inevitable negative feedback is worth it.
My favorite takeaway is how Virginia would write out responses to potential criticism ahead of time. By emotionally working through the cycle of anger/hurt back to calm ahead of time, it sounds like that helped her to respond better to criticism when it did come.
As a scientist, I think of myself as someone with thick skin when it comes to criticism, having gone through the gauntlet of peer review over and over. And my Substack is more practical than personal. However, when I wrote my first novel, there were pieces of my personality in there. It was harder to let go. A single mediocre review can feel like a gut punch. Your post has me thinking of a new mantra, "Victoria doesn't care." BTW, Little was one of my favorite "characters" in Quiet.
I see reading a book as an opportunity to experience a little bit of how other people think about and experience life, the world. Or rather *are thinking about*... , where even the new questions themselves give me something to think about. Those are more important to me than whether I always agree with the person who is so kindly sharing a bit of what’s inside of them.
Thank you, David, for the bits you share here, and an Range, which I read and enjoyed (me, someone who left school thinking she hated sports).
David, I love hearing about your writing process as well as how you approach your obsessions. I'm curious: how much time do you estimate for a book project? And how do you manage writing a book while also writing a newsletter? I've finally decided to tackle a book project (a memoir in essays) but the idea of keeping up my newsletter at the same time feels daunting!
Hey David, thanks for sharing this. I really enjoy hearing tidbits around your book research process and I love this picture you shared! My room is filling up with books I've picked up that I want to read (I've also recently started a short tax course which I'm already behind on!) so this picture reminds me a bit of my own room right now. I love the sentiment of "Virginia doesn't care" it's like a really neat mantra that we can all repeat to ourselves when we're struggling with all kinds of projects/activities. And I think part of why the Christmas tree post was especially popular is the minimalist theme, nowadays it feels like we have a lot of information thrown at us and it's nice to sometimes simplify things with a 'less is more' approach. This makes your writing and researching process even more commendable as I have no idea how you manage to assimilate such a wide range of material and funnell it through with your own ideas to distil into a (relatively) short book. I'm excited to hear that you are starting the process for book 3 and wish you all the best with this! I enjoy all of your writing so take your time to produce what you want. Thanks, William.
This is such a great one thanks, David. I find personal journals or correspondence endlessly fascinating (was a lot of your research about Van Gogh from letters he wrote if I remember correctly?). What's your journaling habit like? Do you ever think what people would think of you if they read it? I read something once that the journalist Tim Urban wrote about interviewing Elon Musk, and he said Musk's superpower (and flaw) was his total inability to care about other people's opinions. I'd argue he's maybe taken this a bit too far, and I prefer the free trait that Woolf picks up instead. Also, that is such an impressive Woolf collection! I know you've said before you don't read every word of every book but (1) with fiction I imagine you have to kind of read it all and (2) that's still almost an entire Woolf shelf. Tipping my cap.
Makes me think of the David Beckham documentary on Netflix, that I was watching last night. If you want a good example of ''David doesn't care'', there is no better exemple of how Beckham dealt with the whole UK after the 98 World Cup. Thanks for another great post and can't wait for your new book!
So excited for the new book! Huzzah!
Delighted to see you mention Brian Little's work. I've found his approach to personality to be extremely useful. The idea that we can learn how to act 'out of character' and get better at it helps us to not just pursue our goals but to stretch ourselves more generally and take the sort of exploratory approach to life that you advocate in Range.