Playing lacrosse in college, we worked with a sports psychologist a little. He was big on the mantra idea you note. He told a story of working with a pro hockey team where a player was totally distracted by off-ice family issues so could not get into a zone to relax and play. The psychologist asked him what he was like when he played well. It was toughness, strength, being a great teammate, etc. Then he asked if there was another example from his life. He mentioned his dog, Keno. Great dog, very strong, very loyal. That became the mantra. "Keno, good dog! Very strong, very loyal." Repeated in his head or under his breath, it got him into that zone or flow he needed. Being silly 80's/90's dudes when someone was struggling we all muttered to him, "Keno, good dog, very strong, very loyal!" It sort of had the same effect by breaking the tension.
Andrew, this is a fantastic story. Sometimes a comment here has a better example than anything I put in the actual post, and this is one of those times. Thanks for this.
Haha, I love it. What a fantastic compliment. I loved doing it, so I'm hoping people watch because I'd love to go through all my bookshelves doing that.
*was* curious how you enjoyed it compared to the other things you do: interviews especially. And what in particular you enjoy about each.
I didn’t watch but listen while hanging up laundry. There were a few books I thought I‘d like to check out, but since I wasn’t looking, I will have to listen again since you didn’t repeat the titles after each. Or did you post a list to go with it?
And I missed you saying who you are. Just so I can check whether your pronunciation of your name matches the pronunciation in my head.
Your post reminded me of a line from the great Yogi Berra: “You can’t think and hit at the same time.” Berra understood the role of unconscious reliance on muscle memory. Not only one of the game’s greatest wits, but also one its great hitting catchers, Yogi clearly mastered this separation of mind and muscle.
That's so interesting. It's fascinating how, for so many tenets of performance, some people get it intuitively, even if nobody yet knows the mechanisms. I guess that makes sense, but I still always find it fascinating.
It's so humanizing to hear an athlete like Malinin be that honest about the mental flooding that happens when the pressure hits a breaking point. I've definitely felt that "deautomation" in my own life, where overthinking a routine task makes me feel like a total beginner again. It really highlights why we talk so much about building "mental toughness" and resilience, not just to win, but to handle those moments when your own brain tries to hijack the work you've done
Very timely, and I wondered if you were going to mention Mikaela Shiffrin, who seems to be struggling with her own "prefrontal cortex issues", from the last Olympics to (so far) this one.
Something interesting to me is that few journalists seem to be able to mention her obvious psych challenges, and I wonder if this is because in the current social media moment they're afraid they'll be accused of "unfairly" picking on someone struggling with a mental health difficulty, or because so few journalists have performed at a high level of sports and they simply don't understand it.
Like you, I was a competitive runner, back in the day, and like you, I knew people whose psychological barriers created difficulties for them in competition. You're probably too young to remember a runner named Adam Dixon, who competed in track for Harvard, but he was one of the most purely talented runners in history, and struggled with nerves.
I wrote about "butterflies" (and Adam) a few years ago, and I think you may be interested.
Thanks so much Roberto, and I'm looking forward to checking out this piece about Adam. Regarding your comment about Shiffrin, I think you've hit the proverbial nail on the head that it's the social media moment, and they just aren't sure how to approach it in a delicate but serious way. I have to say, I even cringed a little at using "choked," but then got over it because it is clearly what happened. But I think the social media environment has sensitized me to have that reflex. To be fair, I think there has been plenty of nasty treatment of athletes that I don't miss, but I also don't think that the reaction to that should be to avoid issues that can be useful for a lot of people when there's a very visible moment like this. I think it's possible to be humane and acknowledge someone choked. I've choked! So many of us have. ...Update: I posted a short video that's basically a shorter version of this post, and while it seems like a lot of people liked it, some also accused me of "trying to monetize his misfortune" by writing or talking about it and things like that. I think that's a minority, but it can be tricky to tune out. So, yeah, I think you're right. It's an interesting moment, where cheap therapy speak is wildly overused in some contexts, and then legitimate psychological challenges completely avoided in others.
Anyway, displacing detractors with counterexamples may not be the most psychologically healthy technique, but "not thinking" about them strikes me as harder still.
I think yes, the best response is no response, because 1) so many commenters are trolling, and 2) there's no answer to people who have already made up their minds. And in this era, as I hinted at above, there are sooooo many people who have absolutely no idea what they're talking about (i.e. in this case, have no experience at all of high-level sport), but aren't letting that get in the way of expressing – often violently and/or rudely – their opinions.
I also think, but did not write above, that many sports journalists have been co-opted into the sports they are covering. They would not dream of expressing a critical thought, for fear of being iced out. I'm old enough to remember when The New York Times had half a dozen "must read" sports columnists. Now there are so, so few.
A postscript: a former training partner and competitor contacted me a few months ago to say that his daughter, 11, was regularly vomiting before school sprint races. The coach told my friend he could not allow the girl to continue to compete in those circumstances, and my friend and I agreed that was a good decision. The girl, of course, wanted to continue to compete, but could not figure out how to solve her problem. I suggested that my friend take her to a sports psychologist, which he did, and the psychologist was able to suggest a few strategies that helped her.
A post-postscript: She won the slalom! Third goal, gold in three Olympics, and on top of that obviously one of the greatest skiers in history. Demons slain!
Thank you for sharing. The bit about preparing for failure is very relatable and resonant. And also very Stoic and very Zen. Adopting the "this cup is already broken" mindset has always moderated my response to disappointment to good effect.
I took 12 weeks of improv a couple years back, and one of the best things about it was "quieting the conscience monitor." The best stuff was the stuff that just...happened. Obviously different than performing a complicated routine in front of the whole world, but I learned a lot about taking an improv approach to life.
Also, at one point I was under a lot of stress at work and in a leadership position at church, and I created and adopted as my motto: "Average is the new awesome." Not that I actually lowered my standards; it just took the pressure off trying to be awesome—whatever that even means—in the eyes of others.
Emily, I'm going to post a Q&A with author Olga Khazan sometime in the coming weeks, and one of her recommendations for everyone is to take at least one improv class! ...I love that motto. Jibes with the last chapter of my forthcoming book, which looks at how "satisficing" can actually be the maximizing strategy.
One of the benefits of the "diversified identity" is that one can adopt an "I don't care. Nobody is going to die if I screw this up. My spouse will still love me" attitude. I'm a big fan of "It doesn't matter" as the mantra. The sun will rise tomorrow. Do it for fun.
Loved this post! Some great practical tips. One thing I have to guard against with anxiety is a tendency to visualize worst-case scenarios. With a vivid imagination, it's easy to spiral right past visualization into the full emotional experience of that scenario, which results in paralysis. But if I could use those imaginings as an opportunity to plan - to switch from 'how would this feel?' to 'what would I do?' - then that could cut off the spiral before it starts, so to speak.
I'm also curious about the factor of external circumstances. While watching Ilia's free skate, all I could think about was the insane amount of pressure that has been placed on him, far beyond even the 'normal' pressure of The Olympics. Do you think such an extraordinary level of external pressure requires a different set of tools to manage? Or a more advanced version of the same tools?
Thank you! I was a professional dancer. I used to ALWAYS imagine the worst things happening.. what if i missed a lift, forgot the choreography, my back went out? i mentally rehearsed all of these things. A friend once said , "wow, that is awful. Do you have any fun" and amazingly, the answer was YES! by planning ahead i could stop worrying and enjoy myself. I continue to do this to this day. My one additional point.. I am now a Univ professor, my ability to "manage" all the possibilities has gone down quite a bit. I don't know if this is because the "demand" is less physical, dealing with more unknowns-people.... or some combination. I find that i still get quite nervous when talking to upper administration... I think it has to do with my inability to anticipate the unknowns.
Interesting discussion, as always, David. Parts of this remind me of Gallwey’s Self 1 (conscious, judging) and Self 2 (unconscious, intuitive) distinction — helpful not just in tennis but also in any range of mental/physical challenges!
As my fave composer would say, “another banger!”, David. Of the many voices we can follow today, yours is one that is reliably informative and thought provoking (and expanding) ✌️
Playing lacrosse in college, we worked with a sports psychologist a little. He was big on the mantra idea you note. He told a story of working with a pro hockey team where a player was totally distracted by off-ice family issues so could not get into a zone to relax and play. The psychologist asked him what he was like when he played well. It was toughness, strength, being a great teammate, etc. Then he asked if there was another example from his life. He mentioned his dog, Keno. Great dog, very strong, very loyal. That became the mantra. "Keno, good dog! Very strong, very loyal." Repeated in his head or under his breath, it got him into that zone or flow he needed. Being silly 80's/90's dudes when someone was struggling we all muttered to him, "Keno, good dog, very strong, very loyal!" It sort of had the same effect by breaking the tension.
Andrew, this is a fantastic story. Sometimes a comment here has a better example than anything I put in the actual post, and this is one of those times. Thanks for this.
Very cool, sweet, gentle, humourous, and loving example. Thank you for sharing it.
David, your 34 book video: Reading Rainbow for grown-ups.
Haha, I love it. What a fantastic compliment. I loved doing it, so I'm hoping people watch because I'd love to go through all my bookshelves doing that.
*was* curious how you enjoyed it compared to the other things you do: interviews especially. And what in particular you enjoy about each.
I didn’t watch but listen while hanging up laundry. There were a few books I thought I‘d like to check out, but since I wasn’t looking, I will have to listen again since you didn’t repeat the titles after each. Or did you post a list to go with it?
And I missed you saying who you are. Just so I can check whether your pronunciation of your name matches the pronunciation in my head.
Your post reminded me of a line from the great Yogi Berra: “You can’t think and hit at the same time.” Berra understood the role of unconscious reliance on muscle memory. Not only one of the game’s greatest wits, but also one its great hitting catchers, Yogi clearly mastered this separation of mind and muscle.
That's so interesting. It's fascinating how, for so many tenets of performance, some people get it intuitively, even if nobody yet knows the mechanisms. I guess that makes sense, but I still always find it fascinating.
It's so humanizing to hear an athlete like Malinin be that honest about the mental flooding that happens when the pressure hits a breaking point. I've definitely felt that "deautomation" in my own life, where overthinking a routine task makes me feel like a total beginner again. It really highlights why we talk so much about building "mental toughness" and resilience, not just to win, but to handle those moments when your own brain tries to hijack the work you've done
A great read! Thanks David!!
Thank you for reading! And I completely agree. It was such a human thing to share, and I'm glad he did even though I'm sure it was difficult.
Huge respect. He's pushing culture in the right direction
Very timely, and I wondered if you were going to mention Mikaela Shiffrin, who seems to be struggling with her own "prefrontal cortex issues", from the last Olympics to (so far) this one.
Something interesting to me is that few journalists seem to be able to mention her obvious psych challenges, and I wonder if this is because in the current social media moment they're afraid they'll be accused of "unfairly" picking on someone struggling with a mental health difficulty, or because so few journalists have performed at a high level of sports and they simply don't understand it.
Like you, I was a competitive runner, back in the day, and like you, I knew people whose psychological barriers created difficulties for them in competition. You're probably too young to remember a runner named Adam Dixon, who competed in track for Harvard, but he was one of the most purely talented runners in history, and struggled with nerves.
I wrote about "butterflies" (and Adam) a few years ago, and I think you may be interested.
https://thejadedcynic.substack.com/p/the-butterfly-effect
Thanks so much Roberto, and I'm looking forward to checking out this piece about Adam. Regarding your comment about Shiffrin, I think you've hit the proverbial nail on the head that it's the social media moment, and they just aren't sure how to approach it in a delicate but serious way. I have to say, I even cringed a little at using "choked," but then got over it because it is clearly what happened. But I think the social media environment has sensitized me to have that reflex. To be fair, I think there has been plenty of nasty treatment of athletes that I don't miss, but I also don't think that the reaction to that should be to avoid issues that can be useful for a lot of people when there's a very visible moment like this. I think it's possible to be humane and acknowledge someone choked. I've choked! So many of us have. ...Update: I posted a short video that's basically a shorter version of this post, and while it seems like a lot of people liked it, some also accused me of "trying to monetize his misfortune" by writing or talking about it and things like that. I think that's a minority, but it can be tricky to tune out. So, yeah, I think you're right. It's an interesting moment, where cheap therapy speak is wildly overused in some contexts, and then legitimate psychological challenges completely avoided in others.
My $0.02, those detractors talking about "monetizing misfortune" haven't read much of your writing and haven't appreciated the empathy you demonstrate for your subjects. The best response to them is probably nothing, but this piece of yours jumps out as a good counterexample: https://open.substack.com/pub/davidepstein/p/the-most-interesting-email-i-ever?utm_campaign=post-expanded-share&utm_medium=web
Anyway, displacing detractors with counterexamples may not be the most psychologically healthy technique, but "not thinking" about them strikes me as harder still.
I think yes, the best response is no response, because 1) so many commenters are trolling, and 2) there's no answer to people who have already made up their minds. And in this era, as I hinted at above, there are sooooo many people who have absolutely no idea what they're talking about (i.e. in this case, have no experience at all of high-level sport), but aren't letting that get in the way of expressing – often violently and/or rudely – their opinions.
I also think, but did not write above, that many sports journalists have been co-opted into the sports they are covering. They would not dream of expressing a critical thought, for fear of being iced out. I'm old enough to remember when The New York Times had half a dozen "must read" sports columnists. Now there are so, so few.
A postscript: a former training partner and competitor contacted me a few months ago to say that his daughter, 11, was regularly vomiting before school sprint races. The coach told my friend he could not allow the girl to continue to compete in those circumstances, and my friend and I agreed that was a good decision. The girl, of course, wanted to continue to compete, but could not figure out how to solve her problem. I suggested that my friend take her to a sports psychologist, which he did, and the psychologist was able to suggest a few strategies that helped her.
A post-postscript: She won the slalom! Third goal, gold in three Olympics, and on top of that obviously one of the greatest skiers in history. Demons slain!
Thank you for sharing. The bit about preparing for failure is very relatable and resonant. And also very Stoic and very Zen. Adopting the "this cup is already broken" mindset has always moderated my response to disappointment to good effect.
Context: https://www.reddit.com/r/Stoicism/comments/q3laos/does_the_buddhist_story_this_cup_is_already/
Evan, this is great. Thanks so much for sharing. I wish I'd included this in the post! "The cup is already broken" will surely stick in my head.
I loved this post. Super trim, focused, compassionate, and genuinely helpful and interesting. THANK YOU. Great work.
Thanks Christiana! And I do need to remind myself to do some trim posts now and again.
I took 12 weeks of improv a couple years back, and one of the best things about it was "quieting the conscience monitor." The best stuff was the stuff that just...happened. Obviously different than performing a complicated routine in front of the whole world, but I learned a lot about taking an improv approach to life.
Also, at one point I was under a lot of stress at work and in a leadership position at church, and I created and adopted as my motto: "Average is the new awesome." Not that I actually lowered my standards; it just took the pressure off trying to be awesome—whatever that even means—in the eyes of others.
Emily, I'm going to post a Q&A with author Olga Khazan sometime in the coming weeks, and one of her recommendations for everyone is to take at least one improv class! ...I love that motto. Jibes with the last chapter of my forthcoming book, which looks at how "satisficing" can actually be the maximizing strategy.
and here I thought the easy answer was to take small bites, chew thoroughly, and drink plenty of water...
It's also that plus a cold plunge
Ah, the old "I tripped over my own subgenual prefrontal cortex" maneuver. Classic. Not too dissimilar from "my hippocampus ate my homework." 😏
Good stuff, sir. Thank you. 💝 Skills to practice before you need them.
Your “quote” gave me a good laugh. Thanks for posting!
My sentence: If everything goes wrong, what do I want to get out of this anyway?
One of the benefits of the "diversified identity" is that one can adopt an "I don't care. Nobody is going to die if I screw this up. My spouse will still love me" attitude. I'm a big fan of "It doesn't matter" as the mantra. The sun will rise tomorrow. Do it for fun.
Loved this post! Some great practical tips. One thing I have to guard against with anxiety is a tendency to visualize worst-case scenarios. With a vivid imagination, it's easy to spiral right past visualization into the full emotional experience of that scenario, which results in paralysis. But if I could use those imaginings as an opportunity to plan - to switch from 'how would this feel?' to 'what would I do?' - then that could cut off the spiral before it starts, so to speak.
I'm also curious about the factor of external circumstances. While watching Ilia's free skate, all I could think about was the insane amount of pressure that has been placed on him, far beyond even the 'normal' pressure of The Olympics. Do you think such an extraordinary level of external pressure requires a different set of tools to manage? Or a more advanced version of the same tools?
Thank you! I was a professional dancer. I used to ALWAYS imagine the worst things happening.. what if i missed a lift, forgot the choreography, my back went out? i mentally rehearsed all of these things. A friend once said , "wow, that is awful. Do you have any fun" and amazingly, the answer was YES! by planning ahead i could stop worrying and enjoy myself. I continue to do this to this day. My one additional point.. I am now a Univ professor, my ability to "manage" all the possibilities has gone down quite a bit. I don't know if this is because the "demand" is less physical, dealing with more unknowns-people.... or some combination. I find that i still get quite nervous when talking to upper administration... I think it has to do with my inability to anticipate the unknowns.
thx
A
Interesting discussion, as always, David. Parts of this remind me of Gallwey’s Self 1 (conscious, judging) and Self 2 (unconscious, intuitive) distinction — helpful not just in tennis but also in any range of mental/physical challenges!
As my fave composer would say, “another banger!”, David. Of the many voices we can follow today, yours is one that is reliably informative and thought provoking (and expanding) ✌️